The other day, I saw yet again the awkward and somewhat embarrasing kissing charade between Spanish and non-Spanish people.  Everyone knows that the Spanish take every possible opportunity to smack a gooey kiss on the cheeks of as many people as can be possibly managed each day, we’ve all seen it, and when we are here, we try to do as they do .. and often miserably fail.

The particular occasion was with a lovely couple of Scottish ladies and a dark-faced, smiling local farmer.  Paco, this is Kate, Kate, Paco..  Paco heads for the leftcheak, eagerly, with his broad smile growing broader as Kate, heads right and SMACK, a beauty – full on the lips!

Shrieks of embarrasment from Kate and her friend, a surpised and somewhat pleased (in an afterthought sort of way) local farmer now positively beaming, from pleasure – or pure hysterical amusement – “estos guiris locos…” (these crazy foreigners!)

The reason this happens is simple – we never know which way to head for the first kiss – left or right – and many people who have lived here for a long time still get it wrong.  So here, folks, is that all-important unwritten rule:

Kiss left, THEN kiss right (and not the other way around!!)

PS – Dutch people – you don’t apply – you always get it right and you even make it THREE KISSES!!!  Left, right and the left again!  Wonderful!

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